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Dunkin' Donuts Thinks People Want to Eat Bagel Holes

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Photo: Wikimedia Commons/Victorgrigas

Dunkin' Donuts is planning to do for bagels what it once did for donuts by selling the non-existent middle of the bagel as a separate product. The Globe reports that the Canton-based company that started in Quincy has tried to trademark the "Bagel Bunchkin," following in the footsteps of the Munchkin. For the record, bagel holes are total bullshit: bagels are made by joining the ends of a snakelike piece of dough, and not by punching the middle out of a round piece of dough. So this isn't like garlic scapes or offal, where a food producer has found a clever way of selling you something that has less value than the main attraction but is still delicious. Think back to art class and the concept of negative space. That's what Dunkin' Donuts wants you to buy and eat: nothing.

The Globe notes that Einstein Bros. already sells a similar product called (shudder) Bagel Poppers, and that Dunkies locations in South Korea sell "a version of the bagel hole.. stuffed with ­jalapeño-spiced sausage." The company's trademark bid for the name "Bagel Bunchkin" was "tentatively rejected" by the US Patent and Trademark Office, which pointed out that the Fred Meyer Stores supermarket chain already uses the phrase "The Bagel Bunch," though an appeal may be made. Prediction: next Dunkies will try to sell you a bagel's invisible outer ring.

· Dunkin' Donuts files plans to launch Bagel Bunchkins in US [Boston.com]
· All coverage of Dunkin' Donuts on Eater [~EBOS~]

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